mama believer

I've been toying around with an idea lately. It could be fantastic or it could be totally ridiculous and an instant invitation for the whole world to start laughing at me.

I recently took a trip to a favorite thrift store in search of a couple of summer dresses or skirts or even some good capri pants. I just need something other than jeans for this weekend at the lake. I mean, jeans are torture when it's 90 degrees outside and you're living outdoors for four days. Although I've had great luck when I'm not searching for anything specific (I probably could have found tons of great shirts and shoes that day), I hit a brick wall that day. Most of what I found that I liked was in the wrong size.

I got to looking a little closer at what was left on the rack that people weren't buying. Was it really all that bad? Probably. But it gave me a (hopefully) good idea. What about dressing like a dork for a year? What if I became the person who finally bought those clothes that no one else wanted?

I used to be a trendsetter when it came to clothing and hair. Since becoming a mom, I don't know where I stand with that, but I do know I've always had a style of my own that people really like. But what if this trendsetter started dressing in that stuff no one bought? Would it become a hit or would I have a tougher time making friends because everyone thinks I look ridiculous?

It's amazing how we judge each other so much on our appearance. We all know who we are is 99% on the inside. However, if you get a ketchup stain on your shirt at lunch, people won't see you the same as if you were completely clean. They (probably unknowing) start to judge you a little as someone who is clumsy or someone who loves to pig out on food and someone with no spare time and was in a rush. And while some of that may be true of you, it's not all that you are. Yet, who we are on the outside is so often what we're judged to be on the inside too.

So I'm not fully committing to this "dressing dorky for a year" project just yet. I need some time to think it over. Sure everyone says I'll be better off finding friends who will love who I am on the inside and who look past the outer appearance. But I don't think anyone realizes how hard it is to find a friend who has things in common with you when your outward appearances are nothing alike. Who is going to take the time to get to know me?

People judge.